I sat until dawn in my pointless vigil
The one thing I could still do
Should I flip that hourglass over?
Or leave time dead like you?
Are you cold? I wondered to myself
My barbarity approved
Of course you are, it’s open casket
That jersey used to look precious on you
I procrastinated on the warmth of your touch
And now I can’t even touch you
Remembering you frozen cold
I don’t have a heart to do
That needle of guilt in my bloodstream
Dormant, passive and acute
I sing, I laugh, I love and I breathe
and then it pierces through
It’s pain but not like back then
Not like that of certain doom
It’s the dichotomy of my love for you
And how mute I was to you
Nonchalance here, a glare there
Blind eyes, ears covered through
Watch me die please, you said
I refused, Sir, no can do
Keep me company, you said
But I did not want to see you
Your fall, I couldn’t witness in slow-mo
That kryptonite I couldn’t move
Long after, on one fated eve
I got a bit of good news
I went outside to share with all
And that’s the last I saw you
I left the next dawn, per hurrahs of all
For a life of glory and repute
I came back to find your casket
Lost the worst I could possibly lose
I saw this coming ages ago
The hell could I even do?
You’ll get over it, said my brain
And right it was, I knew
I loved you, yes but I still chose
My hypocrisy over you
And yet I live now, knowing full well
Some last words were of my interview
There are no other lives for me
I have this, and I had you
One day I would be kind to myself
And believe I ’ll see you
That lawnmower you kept asking me for
I was too broke to get you
Throwing money at things was how I loved
I failed you miserably at that too
I’ll buy one, you see I got that job
Hell I’ll mow the lawn too
My superman, do rest in peace
Phenomenal, it was to be loved by you