Solace, oh but where?
This ever weaving agony of restlessness
Following me from decade to decade
Afraid to cut the strings that haul me forward
Credulous hopes and dreams, not mine
That I’m too afraid to shatter, crystalline
Too precious for my toxic touch
Too oblivious, or so I like to think
I do not want shards left behind that cut
Cut the strings I revere, and yet
Want to, need to, ooze to cut
And I crave, I crave with such battered faith
Battered and barely breathing
An almost mockery of a faith
The string that’s not blood
The string that’s not friendship
The string I dare not name
For it is all manmade, is it not?
There is no fire left in me
To believe in lies, even the beautiful ones
Ones I cannot contradict
Because they are mine to define
Afraid to find it too, that last haven
Not being that forever kind of girl
Willing to lose, almost looking forward
For then I would have had everything
And I could finally rest
Solidify this nothingness for what it is
Cut those strings and stand still
Like I was born to all along
Happily alone
Solace, oh, but when?